charlesfarley •Sensitivity Trainer member is offline
Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,215 Location: Ninth Circle
Writing Contest « Thread Started on Oct 12, 2008, 2:07pm »
Famous last postcards
A doomed character from a famous horror story takes a few minutes to write a postcard to somebody. The subject must be recognizable to a majority of horror fiction enthusiasts. The winner(s) will be chosen by clever foreshadowing or funniest satire. We'll collect the entries and whittle them down to a few favorites to be included in FH#9, as a "Top 5" or something where you scroll through to reach the ultimate winner.
The top picks will be made into postcard images like the one advertising this contest (feel free to pass that image around—let folks know the deadline is nov. 28). The ultimate winner will also have a digitally engraved (perhaps animated) trophy of handcrafted pixels to silently and tastefully boast his/her achievement to all of cyberland.
Submit your entries in THIS THREAD ONLY. We don't want any confusion. Deadline is November 28. FH staff may enter but are ineligible to win.
There it is, our first contest. Good luck.
ENTRIES RECEIVED Fortunato, "The Cask of Amontillado" / johnsunseri Jack Torrance, The Shining / johnsunseri Tessie Hutchinson, "The Lottery" / johnsunseri Larry Talbot, The Wolf Man / johnsunseri Charlie Campion, The Stand / grendelvs Private Hudson, Aliens / grendelvs Wilhelmina Murray, Dracula / buttertup [staff] Marion Crane, Psycho / MRJunctionE [staff] Ellen Ripley, Aliens / bobbie Mrs. Voorhees, Friday the 13th / bobbie Ash Williams, Evil Dead / charlesfarley [staff] Robert Olmstead, "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" / davflamerock Herb White, "The Monkey's Paw" / JJ Burke [staff] Jack Goodman, An American Werewolf in London / innerprop Wilbur Whateley, "The Dunwich Horror" / suctionmule [staff] Arthur Jermyn, "Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family" / torikton Richard Upton Pickman, "Pickman's Model" / torikton Frank Cotton, Hellraiser / MRJunctionE [staff] Abdul Alhazred, "History of the Necronomicon" / torikton Jack Bellicec, Invasion of the Body Snatchers / bobbie Edward Hyde, Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde / MRJunctionE [staff] Jonathan Harker, Dracula / MRJunctionE [staff] The Frankenstein Monster, Frankenstein / suctionmule [staff] Jim, 28 Days Later / mrrazorz Dr. Blair, The Thing / JJ Burke [staff] Andre Delambre, The Fly / suctionmule [staff] Carrie White, Carrie / jimb Census taker, The Silence of the Lambs / jimb Zombie, University of Cambridge / bajab Molosar, The Keep / suctionmule [staff] Hitler, The Keep / suctionmule [staff] Captain Quint, Jaws / jimb Joseph Défago, "The Wendigo" / cjbowser TC&M, Inc., The Texas Chainsaw Massacre / bajab Halpin Chalmers, "The Hounds of Tindalos" / JB Lee Nahum Gardner, "The Colour Out of Space" / JB Lee Y'golonac, "Cold Print" / JB Lee Strutt, "Cold Print" / suctionmule [staff] Carter family, The HIlls Have Eyes / suctionmule [staff] Simpson, "The Wendigo" / suctionmule [staff] Y'golonac, "Cold Print" / suctionmule [staff] Roderick Usher, "The Fall of the House of Usher" / Elijah Whateley Fugg U. Over, "The Haunter of the Dark" / suctionmule [staff] Delapore, "The Rats in the Walls" / jbl Norman Bates, Psycho / jbl Jack, "Canavan's Back Yard" / jbl Anonymous, The Mangler / suctionmule [staff] Cory Drew, "It" / jbl Jame Gumb, The Silence of the Lambs / bobbie Don Thompson, A Nightmare on Elm Street / robertsullivan1973 Norman Goodman, Sphere / torikton Abdul ibn Fadlan, Eaters of the Dead / torikton Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal(?) / suctionmule [staff] Dreadfully Nervous Madman, "The Tell-Tale Heart" / zapata Jonathan Harker, Dracula / zapata Cthulhu, "The Call of Cthulhu" / suctionmule [staff] Attorney, "The Dunwich Horror" / suctionmule [staff] Captain Howdy, The Exorcist / zapata Anonymous, "Herbert West—Reanimator" / zapata
Deadline is Friday, November 28! Tell your friends: no obligation to enter and win!
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #2 on Oct 14, 2008, 5:59pm »
Dear Agent,
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #3 on Oct 14, 2008, 6:02pm »
Mama,
I know my last note to you made it sound like my life has been going through some rough patches, but I really think things are going to turn around for me soon. As a matter of fact, I found a four-leaf clover this morning. Maybe this is my lucky day!
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #4 on Oct 14, 2008, 6:14pm »
Chuck,
I met a girl! It's nice to be back at the ancient Talbot homestead here in Wales, and the scenery is pretty (though the locals are a bit odd), but the important news is--I met a girl!
We're going out tonight, and there's a full moon. Wish me luck, buddy--romance is in the air!
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Joined: Feb 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 3,427 Location: Southern California
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #6 on Oct 14, 2008, 7:35pm »
boy howdy, a 4x combo attack right out of the gate! this sunseri is a contender to be reckoned with. FH custodians aren't eligible for the top prize, but we may still have some tricks up our sleeves. and who knows what dark horses might gallop around the corner at any moment?
Joined: Jul 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 631 Location: canton n.c.
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #9 on Oct 15, 2008, 9:00am »
Dearest Sister, In the midst of the gloomy weather here, we had a chance encounter with the town's wealthiest man, Count Dracula. The local villagers give him wide berth, so reverent are they in the presence of thier better. The Count has insisted on having us for dinner this evening. I shall write and tell you all about it. My Fondest Love, Wilhemina
Joined: Apr 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 252 Location: Colorado
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #10 on Oct 15, 2008, 9:16am »
My dearest Sam,
I've taken care of it, my love. All of our troubles; the debt, the alimony, all of it -- I've taken care of it all! We're free to start a new life in California, just us. Together. We'll never have to worry about money again!
Forgive me my darling, I'll explain it all soon. But now I am so very tired. I fell asleep on the side of the road while on my way to you, so I decided to stop at a... well, charming little motel isn't exactly the right word, but it will do. The man who runs it, a Mr. Bates, is an odd little man. When I asked if there was a room available all he said was: "Oh, we have 12 vacancies. 12 cabins, 12 vacancies" with an odd grin. I think he must have one of those faces you just can't help believing.
I heard Mr. Bates arguing with his mother earlier and when I asked him about it he simply said: "Uh-uh, Mother-m-mother, uh, what is the phrase? She isn't quite herself today." I couldn't tell if his stammer was from a condition or... or fear.
Anyway, my darling -- I think I'll go take a nice long hot shower.
Love always. Your,
Marion
« Last Edit: Oct 15, 2008, 9:19am by MRJunctionE »
Joined: Feb 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 3,427 Location: Southern California
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #11 on Oct 15, 2008, 2:19pm »
pretty healthy turnout so far... since this contest is open to the public, all of you contestants are encouraged to inv ite others whom our limited promotional campaign will not have reached.
if we can keep up this pace, we're pretty much guaranteed to have at least 5 outstanding zingers for FH#9.
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #13 on Oct 15, 2008, 3:57pm »
Dear Jason,
How is camp?
I wish I'd thought to get you those swimming lessons before the start of the season. In the meantime, please stay in shallow water. And I realize now that I packed your hockey mask instead of your catcher mitt. Hopefully, you'll be able to find some use for the mask.
Honestly, I think I'd lose my head if it weren't attached.
I wish I'd thought to get you those swimming lessons before the start of the season. In the meantime, please stay in shallow water. And I realize now that I packed your hockey mask instead of your catcher mitt. Hopefully, you'll be able to find some use for the mask.
Honestly, I think I'd lose my head if it weren't attached.
Joined: Oct 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 131 Location: East Bay, CA
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #16 on Oct 15, 2008, 9:59pm »
Dear Adam,
My explorations into the antique have brought me to this quaint town called "Innsmouth." People here are really weird, but the water seems nice. Unless I turn into a fish or something crazy like that I'll get back to you about the odd place.
Joined: Feb 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 3,427 Location: Southern California
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #18 on Oct 15, 2008, 11:33pm »
How Now Old Chum,
I know your fondness for good luck charms, so I thought of you right away. The sergeant major came by tonight and he brought something very exotic: a Hindoo-enchanted monkey's paw! How many English rabbits' feet is that worth, eh? Needless to say, the money will soon be rolling in. I'll likely quit work at the factory tomorrow. Try not to be too envious!
A monkey riding a dog is probably the awesomest thing that could ever happen.
Inner Prop Guest
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #19 on Oct 16, 2008, 5:53am »
Dear Debbie,
Well, David and I are here in northern England. Sure is cold up here and the funny thing is there are no hospitals between here and London. Hope neither of us gets hurt, ha ha. I’d really hope we get to meet up in Rome. We have a lot in common, us world travelers, not like Mark Levine. Anyway, gotta go. There’s a nice shepherd here who says he’ll give us a ride most of the way to East Proctor. I hope he has a nice car.
Joined: Feb 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 3,427 Location: Southern California
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #21 on Oct 16, 2008, 9:54am »
not necessary.. this contest is open to the public. but if you want to submit another type of content, you are now ready to request workshop access. (the workshop is a restricted area where we plan future issues.)
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #22 on Oct 16, 2008, 3:06pm »
FATHER....FAAATHEEERRRR,
Hope you visit soon. I'm growing up so fast that it's near impossible to find clothes that fit. Maybe I could borrow your Mastercard? I need eyeglasses, too. I - - well, by the time I find my real tallywhacker after sifting through all the tentacles hanging from my waist, I've pissed myself.
Other than that, I'm doing fine. But my brother's a different story. I'm only outgrowing my CLOTHES. HE's flat outgrown The freakin' HOUSE! His manners suck. He won't eat his veggies (maybe that explains why he's so pale), and he scarfs way too much beef...just ask the neighbors.
He's not much for hitting the books, but has expressed an interest in trying out for the Dunwich football team next year. I think he'd be kick-ass on defense because he's basically as wide as the entire field.
I'm headed to Arkham to do my homework. Later, dude.
Your son,
Wilbur Whateley
« Last Edit: Oct 17, 2008, 3:27pm by suctionmule »
Joined: May 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 16 Location: Dis
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #23 on Oct 17, 2008, 3:48am »
M. Verhaeren,
I've received your package from the Congo at last. Your letter has made me more curious than ever - I'm simply dying to discover what my ancestor found so engrossing in Africa so long ago.
Joined: May 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 16 Location: Dis
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #24 on Oct 17, 2008, 3:55am »
Carter,
You know I'd love to meet and discuss your dream, but today's all filled up. I've invited a few of my models to my studio. Hopefully I don't get carried away - some of my recent paintings seem to have rather scared Thurber.
Re: Writing Contest « Reply #29 on Oct 20, 2008, 7:11am »
Mom,
When I mentioned that there was not enough of me to go around . . . When I jokingly wrote that it would take two of me to keep this Mud Bath Emporium going and still find time to write, I probably should have been more specific.
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